Ninja Writers 3-Day Magical Editing Mini-Course – Day 3/3: Dialogue Tags
"Watch those tags!" Susie said.
So far, we’ve tackled -ing verbs and the word ‘could/can.’
This is day three of the Magical Editing Mini-Course. We’re going to talk about dialogue.
Specifically, dialogue tags.
First, let’s talk about the difference between a dialogue tag and a beat.
A tag is just a name or a pronoun, with a speaking verb. (Hopefully, a speaking verb. Sometimes tags aren’t speaking verbs. But that’s a lesson for another day.) The tag’s only job is to let the reader know who is speaking.
Tags go in the same paragraph as the dialogue, either at the beginning, in the middle, or at the end.
Examples of tags in past and present tense:
He says, “I’ve missed you.”
“Really?” She asked. “Are you sure about this?”
Mary says, “I ate cake for dinner.”
“When will we start?” John asks.
A beat is a tiny bit of action in the same paragraph as the dialogue that lets the reader know who is speaking and gives a little information or moves the story along in some way.
Beats also go in the same paragraph as the dialogue. Either at the beginning, in the middle, or at the end.
Those same examples, but with beats instead of tags:
He puts an arm around me. “I’ve missed you.”
“Really?” She blinked several times. “Are you sure about this?”
Mary sits back and rubs her stomach. “I ate cake for dinner.”
“When will we start?” John looked out the window, as if the answer was out there.
Here’s what often happens though: writers use a tag and a beat. And it’s just not necessary. We already know who is speaking, if there’s a beat. And usually, the beat is the best choice. Not always. Sometimes, we just need to know who is speaking. But for the most part, if you have a beat, you can remove the tag.
Those same examples with beats and tags:
He puts an arm around me and says. “I’ve missed you.”
“Really?” She blinked several times and asked. “Are you sure about this?”
Mary sits back and rubs her stomach. She says, “I ate cake for dinner.”
“When will we start?” John asked as he looked out the window, as if the answer was out there.
Wordier. And the tag dilutes the beat.
Here’s today’s magical edit.
Search through your editing manuscript for the word ‘said’ or ‘says,’ depending on if you’ve written in past or present tense.
Just that one tag word. You’ll likely have others, including the word ‘asked’ or ‘asks.’ But those are edits for another day.
Today, scroll through all the instances of the word ‘said’ or ‘says’ and if you have a beat, remove the tag. Or, if you think just the tag is better, remove the beat.
The end goal is to have either a beat or a tag for each of those paragraphs.
Just like the first two days, set a timer and get through as much as you can. Try to work through at least as much of your manuscript as you edited for -ing verbs and the word could/can.
When you’re done–read through the pages you’ve edited over the last three days. Compare them to your original. Can you see how much stronger, tighter, and brighter your writing is? Magical, right?
Now you can take these three tools and use them on the rest of your manuscript, if you weren’t able to get through all the pages already.
Love,
Shaunta
BONUS EDIT:
While you’re doing this edit, make sure that each paragraph belongs to just one person. New character’s dialogue, thoughts, or action, gets a new paragraph.
P.S. Tomorrow, from 2 to 4 pm EST, and Friday starting at 6 pm EST we’re going to have a FREE live call. You can bring one page of your manuscript and I’ll screen share to edit it with you. More on that coming soon. But you can sign up here.
There will be a special announcement at 3 pm EST tomorrow. Trust me, you don’t want to miss that.