Ninja Writers 3-Day Magical Editing Mini-Course – Day 2: Get Rid of This Word
No would've, could've, should've about it!
This is day two of our 3-day Magical Editing Mini-Course. So far, we’ve gone over -ing verbs. Today, we’re going to talk about just a single word.
There are words that are, by their very nature, distancing. They shift fine ‘showing’ style writing into ‘telling.’ There’s a list of them, but for today, I just want to focus on one. The word ‘could.’
Could is the past tense of the verb ‘can.’ If you’re writing in present tense, you’ll look for the word ‘can’ as well. Not instead though, because we often use ‘could’ in dialogue or internal monologue or when we’re talking about the past in present tense manuscripts.
Confusing enough?
Could/can. That’s the word. Specifically when it’s attached to a sensory word (see, hear, feel, touch, smell, etc.)
Here are some ways we use could in our work:
I could see the end of the road.
He can hear the birds singing.
Mary could understand his point.
“I could feel the cold,” John says.
When we take out ‘could’ from those sentences, they instantly become stronger and more vibrant.
I saw the end of the road.
He heard the birds sing.
Mary understood his point.
“I felt the cold,” John says.
They aren’t perfect, but they’re better. In another editing pass, you’d probably want to strengthen ‘I felt the cold’ to something more descriptive. The cold froze my bones. The cold hurt my face. Something along those lines.
‘Mary understood his point’ is begging for a ‘but.’
And maybe you’d want to let the reader know what the birds sounded like. Or what was at the end of the road.
Those are all edits for another day. Today, we’re just going to focus on the word could/can and get rid of as many as possible.
Is there ever an instance where could/can should stay? Sure. But it’s rare.
When you’re talking about a decision that might have gone a different way, there isn’t really a different way to say ‘could have.’ I could have gone to Harvard, but I didn’t.
If you’re asking a question, especially in dialogue, you might need one or the other. “Can we take a walk this afternoon?”
But where it’s possible to remove the word could/can from your manuscript, your writing will improve greatly if you do.
If you’re writing nonfiction, your writing will benefit from removing could/can, too. Maybe even more, since nonfiction really needs to be tight and concise.
Here’s today’s magical edit:
Today, you’re going to search through your editing manuscript for the word ‘could’ or the word ‘can.’ Use ‘could’ if you’ve written in past tense, ‘can’ if you’ve written in present tense.
Scroll through all of the results and remove ‘could/can’ from the sentences. You may need to edit a little to make the sentence work without it, but mostly you’ll be able to just lift the word from your manuscript.
Like yesterday, set a timer and get through as much as you can. Try to get through the same pages that you worked on yesterday.
Love,
Shaunta
BONUS EDIT:
If you want to do a little more, look for variations on the words ‘start’ and ‘begin’ while you’re working through this edit. They’re other words you can nearly always just lift out entirely.
The could/can edit pass is brilliant. I didn’t think I was guilty. I COULD NOT have been more wrong, lol.